She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
