You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
