I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
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