The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
