And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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