Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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