Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
