i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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