so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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