How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
