She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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