but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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