Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
