you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
