i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
