I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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