is your mom at the bar?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
3pm strippers are depressing
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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