I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
