Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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