...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
