Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
