i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Randomize
