You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Do vagina's smell?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
