At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
i believe in u and ur pee
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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