the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
