And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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