It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
There r osticjed everywhere
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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