Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
