dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
