It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
