He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
