this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
