Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I lost the right to judge tonight
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
