how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
