He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
