Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
