you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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