Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry luke1219 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(216): View more from Ohio

My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes

Fav 8 1863 1062
share tweet
(779): View more from Illinois

Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.

Fav 6 3193 1072
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.

Fav 15 5550 1004
share tweet
(678): View more from Georgia

Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners

Fav 32 4515 798
share tweet
(920): View more from Wisconsin

Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do

Fav 12 781 6122
share tweet
(650): View more from California

at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running

Fav 5 1083 2573
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(770): View more from Georgia

Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.

Fav 9 2359 1849
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(310): View more from California

I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase

Fav 3 1208 765
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(714): View more from California

Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now

(714): View more from California

False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower

Fav 0 66 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT