Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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