I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Come see our sink grown plant.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
