I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I came so hard my ears popped.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
