Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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