Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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