But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
