U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
