i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So here I am, sexting at work.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
