i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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