dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
