Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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