be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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