he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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